I DO NOT CONDONE YOU GUYS GOING TO THIS PERSON AND HARASSING THEM WHATSOEVER. I DO NOT RESPECT THAT TYPE OF ACTIVITY FROM MY FANS AT ALL. I DO NOT WANT ANY MORE DRAMA WITH THIS PERSON THAN WHAT I HAVE NOW.
You know who you are, and I understand you're upset at me. I won't forgive myself for the situations back then, but what confuses me is that your fans are coming after me and harassing me. Even if they own mindset, they have been making tweets like "hang yourself" or making fun of me, and they even went as far as to stalk me. Even though you blocked me on all social media, this needs to come to your attention, even from a place you hate.
Hear me out, OK?
Lately, I have been so depressed that I have been having multiple panic attacks per day, and I have been vomiting out of fear and anger towards myself. This has been going on for three months, but this whole situation is about seven months. Please, let me ask you a question: How does it make you feel? I don't know if it makes you feel like you are stronger than me, but you are showing you may be weaker than I because I have been repressing your character from my memory. Even when I was "friends" with you (you lied, I know that now), I was scared of you. Not because your voice is intimidating, but you make me scared. Whenever I see you on my Twitter feed, I begin to panic. I know it sounds like an overreaction, but it isn't.
Now, I would like to talk about some other things. It will be split up into sections on this journal entry.
It is an amazing thing, yes, but keep in mind that we are all equal. No one is better than the other. This situation we share is not something we both are proud of. We can agree on that. Just because you have more subscribers, followers, watchers, or anything for that matter, that doesn't mean you're unexcused from the consequences that come to you if you continue. That doesn't mean you are unexcused from someone's guidelines of respect, and you are definitely not unexcused from being rude to someone who looked up to you. I don't blame you for being mean to me, I can't, but still, keep in mind that I am a person. Not just a meme. I don't want to be tossed around like one anymore.
This is something that I wanted to talk to Markiplier about, but he's not in this situation. Respect is nothing in this day and age. Now, it's just a word, but it should be cherished, like a newborn baby. For you, it may not be a newborn, but just a person on the street. You drive your truck into them, and run over them and kill them. That's how you think respect works. It doesn't. Respect is something that you earn, and give to those who you think deserve it. This word isn't just a word. It's a concept abut how almost everyone should be with each other.
3. The "Precious" Ego
This is something that needs to be addressed to you. You have a really bad case of "Big Ego" Syndrome. It means you will act superior to your peers in every way, shape, and form, especially going as far as to target one individual, even when your loved ones tell you to stop and move on. Even when I am the victim, I still believe that you could at least change and bring some more people into your life if you decide to make the mature choice of at least being at least decent to people. To some, you are downright rude, and that needs to stop, especially to me.
Everyone has friends. That's for certain. HOWEVER, the way you think about friendship is wrong. Friendship does not mean for you to just target one fan, and attack them for a continuous amount of time. Friendship is telling you what is right or wrong, and give them advice on how to be a better person. Also, to share a bond with them. They are here to guide in the right direction, and be the best they can be. I have a friend who has been there for me, and I love them very much. Keep in mind that I was influenced by them to make this, especially to you. There is a huge difference in between friendship and "friendship," and you know what type of person you are. You are a "friendship" person. That's something that needs to be fixed, for sure.
These things are what I have been thinking about telling you for such a long time, but I was too scared to talk to you. I know not to be scared anymore. If you talk to me about it, fine. You make fun and want to continue, I'll be ready. I won't be tossed around by your friends and fans anymore. I will fight, no matter if I'm alone in the fight or I have my friends with me.
I hope for the first choice. If we can resolve this, that would be better than continuing to be in a war that has been going on for almost a year.